Mirror Mirror
by Amethyst Soul
Summary: Yes, both me and this fic are still alive! Sorry this took so long to get up.After a bad week at Astro Camp, Zim decides to leave. Due to an accident, he and Dib end up lost in the woods. But now, they don't remember who they are... or how they got there.
1. Mooing Cyborg Boy Versus The Ignorant In...

Mirror, Mirror  
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill. Don't own Invader Zim. Don't own the Scary Monkey Show. Don't own 1984... hehe... don't ask. Just read! READ!  
  
Chapter One: Mooing Cyborg Boy Versus The Ignorant Invader  
  
"Therefore, you miserable children, because we won the war we did not have to endure the doom of this wonderful imagined by Orwell. Instead of listening to the Party in the totalitarian society of that time, you must listen to ME in this horrid society of THIS time," Ms. Bitters, the morbid 5th grade teacher of Skool School, said. She struck a piece of chalk on the board for effect, as well as to wake up her zoned out students. "Now repeat after me. Two plus two equals five," she said as she wrote it across the chalkboard.  
"Two plus two equals five," the class repeated systematically, not caring to fully comprehend what they were even saying.  
"But Ms. Bitters..." Dib objected, yet in catching her cock-eyed glare he instantly shut up.  
"It seems we have an insubordinate here, class," she said, floating over to Dib with a menacing glare. "What is it, Dib? What's wrong with saying two plus two equals five?"  
"It... equals... four..."  
"And THAT," Ms. Bitters shrieked, "Is the exact kind of answer that would get you worthless minded children in a torture chamber, where you would be PRODDED and DRUGGED and ELECTROCUTED for months until you learn that if I say two plus two equals five, then two plus two equals FIVE!!!"  
Dib sighed, looking bored again, and not bothering to tell Ms. Bitters that they weren't in a totalitarian society. He pulled out a piece of paper and began writing.  
"Now," Ms. Bitters said, "As a ploy to get you doomed children out of my miserable sight, the skool has decided on a field trip. It will last ONE WEEK and you horrid, horrid things will endure it all, or you fail!"  
"Field trip?" Zim inquired aloud.  
Dib took this chance to taunt his archenemy. "What's wrong, Zim? Never heard of one?"  
"Dib, sit down!" Ms. Bitters yelled before Zim could reply. "Now, you need your parents to sign these," she handed information packets and permission slips out to the class. "Only because by some chance of luck you DIE out there, the skool nor any of the fool teachers that signed up to be chaperones will be responsible."  
Dib lifted up the paper and grinned as he read it. "Astro-Camp?"  
At that moment the bell rang. The class rushed out, with Zim trailing behind, confusedly reading over the information packet about this 'field trip'.  
"You should go, Zim," Dib said, walking up to him. "All normal humans go on field trips."  
"I will go on this 'field trip', Dib," Zim retorted, enunciating the name.  
"You do know it's at Astro-Camp, right? The place where they study space... and galaxies... and aliens..." Dib said, trying to keep up with Zim as Zim began to walk more quickly away. "I sure hope they don't suspect you. Plus... it lasts a week, Zim. You'd have to sleep there. With other humans. Who'll probably notice some sort of abnormal snoring and see you for who you are!"  
"Better than mooing, cyborg-boy."  
Dib opened his mouth then shut it quickly with a short 'moo' escaped. "I'm recuperating."  
******************************************  
"I have no other choice but to go on this... 'field trip'..." Zim said as he paced, waving the information packet around. "Tuh! Stupid human rituals. It's like that one Gir was watching on t.v.... X-mas or something like that... completely useless trash! When I take over this planet I will destroy all of it's rituals and holidays!"  
"Awww... don't destroy Scary Monkey Day!" Gir said as he toddled in, holding a brainfreezy.  
"There is no 'Scary Monkey Day'."  
"Oh yeah," Gir lowered his mouth to the straw and sucked it, making obnoxious noises through his mouth in the process.  
Zim walked over to his robot parents and gave it to the 'mother', along with a pen. "Sign this."  
"Okay, honey lumpkins," the robot voice crackled, throwing the paper in the air and the pen through it. 'Dad' picked it up and put the pen in his mouth, using this to scribble something incomprehensible on it. He then swallowed the pen and folded the paper into a paper airplane, throwing it into the air.  
Zim walked over, picked it up, and looked at it for a moment. "Good enough." He strolled back into the living room, rubbing his chin in thought. "Now... I must prepare. This information packet tells me everything I need!" He clenched his fist. "That inferior human Dib will not win this one."  
He opened up the packet as Gir turned the television on and read a paper entitled 'Necessities'.  
"Pillows... clothes... water... sunscreen... winter jacket..." he read off, mumbling. He looked up from the paper, cock-eyed. "Gir, what is this... 'bathing suit' item?"  
"A suit that you bathe in," Gir answered in a way similar to the systematic answering of the children in Zim's class.  
"But... why is that necessary? It is inefficient."  
Gir giggled. "Seven says that too."  
"Seven?"  
"She's the really nice borg-lady from-"  
"Borg?"  
"Ohhhh! Those are the mean scary green people that a...ssi...mill...ate...," Gir stumbled over the word, "People."  
"I think I'm going to stop letting you watch t.v."  
"NO!" Gir leapt on the television and hugged it, sniffling. "I love T.V." He stuck his eyes up close to the screen. "Oooh... look at all the blue... and the yellow... and the rrrreeeedddd..."  
Zim stood up, pacing as he went over the needed items. "I'll need a flashlight... and extra batteries... a backpack... more water..." He stopped as a sudden thought struck him. "Gir, do you think you can watch the house for me while I'm gone?"  
Gir was currently banging his head against the screen of the t.v. "Red! Now blue! Now yellow! Wee! Can I have a sleepover?"  
"No, Gir, you cannot have a sleepover. No humans are allowed in this house!"  
"What... about... pig? And squirrel wants to come over, too."  
"No, Gir," Zim said, annoyed even further. "Nothing of this EARTH is allowed in this household! Especially while I'm gone!"  
Gir blinked. "What... about... that nice guy across the street! You know, the one with the black straggly hair and the Z on his shirt? I don't think he's human or from Earth!"  
Zim's eyes shortened into slits and he shot Gir a 'look'. "No... I think I'll have to risk taking you with me."   
"Yay! I get to go to Astro-Camp! Can I bring T.V.?"  
"No!"  
"What about... a brainfreezy making machine?"  
"We don't have a brainfreezy making machine."  
Gir's eyes glanced at a huge box behind Zim that was sitting on the kitchen floor. "Oh... kay, master." Then he went back to banging his head against the t.v. "Red! Now Yellow! Now blue! Oooh... black...."  
*******************************************  
Dib was pacing in his room, gathering items he would need for his trip and ranting at the same time. "This is my chance! I will expose Zim for what he is! And he won't have his lab or anywhere else to hide!" He threw a six-pack of alien catching handcuffs into his hiker's backpack (just in case the first five didn't work), along with some night vision goggles, water balloons, as well as twenty bottles of water.  
"You know..." Gaz began as she walked into his room, "You just might need... I don't know... clothes, a flashlight, a pillow, a toothbrush... that sort of thing that normal people take when they go on week-long trips?"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Dib waved her off. "I'll put all that stuff in later."  
"You don't have any more room, doofus," she pointed out the obvious.  
"Oh..." Dib looked at the overstuffed backpack, and then shrugged as he pulled out a knap sack. "I'll deal with that later. By the way, why do *you* care?"  
"I actually don't. I'm just dwelling in the fact that I won't see you for a week. I'll have this entire house to myself for my pizza-loving video game needs." She and Dib already knew their father probably wouldn't be around much, anyway. He was home for maybe an hour every day (to their knowledge), so it was almost like living on their own.  
"Dad's going to let you stay here alone?"  
"Dad doesn't care."  
"Oh." Dib returned to throwing gizmos and gadgets he'd ordered from Mysterious Mysteries magazine.  
"You're a real loser, Dib," she said. "What is it with you and him, anyway? Both of you are insane, both of you rant far too much, and both of you annoy the hell out of me. You'd think you were twins or something."  
"Don't ever say that again," Dib suddenly said tersely, looking up for a moment from his work.  
"Well, it's true."  
"Zim's an alien. I am human. Zim wants to take over the world. I want to protect it. Zim is green. I am not. There are very big differences here!"  
"Those are the only differences."  
Dib thought for a moment. "Well... he has huge red eyes. And... um..."  
"Sure, Dib," she pulled out her game slave and began playing. "I'm out of here before I waste more of my life that I could be playing improving my game."  
He shook his head after she walked out, then, peeking out the door to make sure she was gone, he walked over to his bed, feeling under the pillow for the familiar object. His book. Instantly, he began writing in it.  
He looked down at the permission slip when he was done, sighing. "Guess I'm going to have to go get dad's autograph again."  
  
  
This is supposed to be a dark fic. And it will be! I'll have a new chapter up tomorrow or the day after, sometime before Fourth of July. So... um... look forward to miserable good-ness.  
And yes, I did go to Astro-Camp. Actually, it was pretty fun. That's where I got this idea from. Sorry this chapter seems so slow to get into things. I had to get it out of my system. 


	2. The Long Bus Ride and The Scary Monkey T...

Chapter Two: The Long Bus Ride and The Scary Monkey Theme Song  
  
"The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round. All the live-long day. The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round..."  
"How many times can those humans sing the SAME SONG over and over and over? Their mentality must be at the level of-" Zim was thinking to himself. It was a few days later, and the trip was about to begin. Everyone had boarded the bus, most of them eager and excited. Zim was impartial, but he was interested to see what all the commotion was about for this... "Astro-Camp". They'd been driving for hours, listening and singing to the same song for hours. Exhausted, Zim leaned against his seat, when presently, he heard a noise in his backpack.  
"The wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and round and round and round and round and round and round...! The wheels on the bus go round and round. All la la la la..."  
"Gir! Shut up!" Zim hissed. "You're lucky I even let you *on* the bus. I could have sent you to the bottom with the other useless luggage!"  
"Awww... sorry master," came a muffled voice from the pink and white spotted backpack.  
"What did I just tell you Gir?!" Zim hissed again. For once he was thankful for the high noise level in the bus. That was he wouldn't have to awkwardly think of a reason he was talking to his backpack. He turned sharply to see Dib in the third row behind him, giving him a cold but at the same time confused stare. Zim immediately turned around and sat.  
"I wonder what he's doing," Dib said aloud. "Probably planning a way to ruin this little plan. I can't believe he actually came. But then again, I don't mind. He's vulnerable. I know it!"  
A huge bug-eyed kid sitting next to him slowly scooted away.  
"I don't even have to try. It snows up there this time of year. Water! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! To think how stupidly he could be defeated by water!"  
The kid looked at Dib strangely. "Umm... why are you always so obsessed with that Zim kid?"  
"He's an alien! AN ALIEN! Can't you see? He's talking to his backpack for goodness sakes."  
"Can I switch seats with you?" The kid turned to someone in the next row. When denied, the kid leapt out of the seat and ventured into the back.  
Dib crossed his arms huffily. "Stupid, ignorant people. Wait until I reveal Zim. Then they'll see."  
At the front of the bus, their main chaperone, Mr. Timms was waving a silver stick around, encouraging the kids to continue singing. "Come on, now, children! I want you all singing! Hey, green kid!"  
Zim turned away from looking out the window to glare at the teacher in front. "What?"  
"Sing! The song isn't all that hard!"  
"I do not want to bring myself as low as to sing something as juvenile and useless as this song."  
"Awwww. Somebody's not in the Astro-Camp spirit! Students, what do we do about that?"  
"New song! New song! New song! New song!" the other students chanted.  
Zim cringed. "NO."  
"Awww, I wanna hear The Scary Monkey Theme Song," said Gir from his backpack.  
"Gir! Shut up!" Zim said in a hushed whisper, ducking down as he said it.  
"I think somebody's shy," Mr. Timms said, walking toward Zim's seat. "We'll just have to fix that!"  
"Get away from me you annoying stinkbeast! Away with you! Away!" Zim screeched as Mr. Timms tried to pry him from his seat.  
"We're tying to encourage /team cooperation/, Zim. If you don't participate, you could ruin the experience for everybody!" Mr. Timms said. "But since you're so shy, I won't make you stand in the front."  
"I'll enjoy taking a laser to your head someday," Zim muttered under his breath. To the teacher, he said, "So... what do I have to do?"  
"Just pick a song, and we'll sing along," the teacher gave a broad smile.  
Zim cringed at the poor rhyme work, and with a heavy sigh, he said, "Fine. I want to hear... The Scary Monkey Theme Song."  
"GREAT! I love that song!" Mr. Timms yelled. "Okay, class. Let's all sing together!"  
"Ohhhhh, ooh eee ooh eee ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh. Abooga! Abooga! Abooga booga booga! Ooh eee ah ah ah! Ooh ee ah ah ah! Abooga! ABOOGA! ABOOGA!"  
"/That's/ the Scary Monkey Theme Song?" Zim yelled to his backpack. "Those aren't even real words!"  
"I love you." Gir said as he nestled down.  
Sighing, Zim looked out the window, hoping the annoying little robot would go to sleep (and from the absolute silence that came from his backpack, it seemed that he did). It had been no more than half an hour of enduring the Scary Monkey Theme Song when suddenly he heard a snicker beside him. He turned to see Dib, sitting innocently next to him, a wide grin spread across his face.  
"Dib?! What are you doing here, inferior wormbaby?"  
Dib shrugged. "I just wanted to see how you were taking the bus ride. The Scary Monkey Theme Song? I'm impressed. I didn't know you knew /human/ songs."  
"Of course I do. Everybody who's anybody knows The Scary Monkey Theme Song."  
"Yes, well... I came to warn you, Zim. It won't be easy avoiding me. Around every corner, behind every staircase, I'll be there. Watching *you*, Zim."  
"That's nice," Zim mumbled, returning his gaze to outside.  
"Oh, and I think it would be nice if you averted your attention to the other side of the bus," Dib said. "I think you would enjoy seeing all the... water."  
Zim glared at Dib as he got up to return to his own seat, and then peeked over the shoulder of another student to see what Dib was talking about. The bus, at the moment, was ascending up the mountain. On one side of the bus was a huge drop- about 2,000 feet to be exact, with a view of the lush, green forests that most humans would have enjoyed. The other side, the mountainous side, held huge boulders and rocks, warning signs about avalanches, signs every once in awhile marking off the elevation, and... powder.  
"Powder?" Zim said, leaning closer. It was like small clumps of white powder. Not too much, because most of it seemed to have just... disappeared... to Zim, but enough to cause a commotion among the other students.  
"Snow!" one exclaimed.  
"Not that much," another one complained.  
"I'll bet you there's more at Astro-Camp!" a girl shouted gleefully.  
"Yes, Zim," said a voice behind him. Zim jumped and turned to see that Dib had not left as he'd hoped. "That's *snow*, in case you don't know. Frozen water? Oh, but it melts," Dib laughed maniacally. "IT MELTS!!!"  
"Shut up!" a huge kid said that had way too many muscles for a fourth grader.  
Dib quieted and went back to his seat, leaving a bewildered Zim alone to contemplate things.  
"Snow?..." he repeated fearfully, then leaned back in his seat, hoping it wasn't a mistake coming here.  
"Okay, kids. Only 2,000 feet to go! And then we're at Astro-Camp!" Mr. Timms said.  
Zim sat even further in his seat, trying to get comfortable. This was going to be a long week... 


	3. Vacillating Luck

A/N: Don't hate me for this one. You KNOW who you are, k? Dib's not going to be punished *that* badly. :-)  
  
Chapter 3: Vacillating Luck  
  
It was generally cooler as they stepped out of the bus once they'd finally arrived, but not drastically. What's more, the sun was shining, glistening off the last few patches of snow, which began to melt away.  
Zim and Dib, both annoyed for different reasons, stepped off the bus.  
"I cannot believe the snow melted," Dib thought, slightly ticked off. "What's a guy to ask for? I don't care if it's a blizzard or even an inch. I just want it to snow! And what does the weather do? It becomes /nice/ and /sunny/ and /perfect/. Ugh. Perfectly disgusting." He grabbed three suitcases, a knap sack, and a backpack from under the bus, and stumbled over to the huge rock where their class was supposed to meet.  
"I cannot believe they sang that stupid Scary Monkey Theme Song for three entire hours," Zim thought angrily. "That horrible humanoid Ms. Bitters brainwashed them more than I thought. No matter. The stupider they are, the more powerful I can become." Sighing, he reached under the bus to grab his things, and met with the group.  
"Welcome, Astro-Campers!" A smiling, female counselor said cheerfully. She had on a normal pale brown outfit, and dirty blonde hair that matched her boots. Pinned to her shirt was a blue ribbon, and on her head was a large, round hat. "I'm your camp leader, Krystie! For the next week, you'll be interacting with other students to learn the meaning of TEAM, participating in on-hands activities, enjoying numerous science experiments and activities, and studying the world around, above, and below you. Now, here's the roster for what rooms you'll be staying in. It's been mixed up to make sure you'll make new *super fun* buddies!"  
"Please let me get paired up with Zim, please let me get paired up with Zim," Dib said over and over in his head as he approached the roster. If he got paired with Zim, he could use it to his advantage. He could taunt him, or torture him. Maybe even fill up huge buckets of water all around Zim's bed so that he'd be trapped.  
"Please don't let me get paired up with Dib. Please don't let me get paired up with Dib," Zim begged in his own mind as he did the same. He didn't trust the human. He didn't want to be /near/ him.  
"Yes!" Zim leapt in the air to see that his prayers had been answered. Then he almost fell over when he did see who he was paired with. "KEEF?"  
"Hiya, bestest friend!" came the cynical voice behind him.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
"We're gonna have lots of fun together! Lots and lots of fun!" Keef said cheerfully.  
"I thought the squirrel killed you!" Zim leapt back.  
"Oh, him! He's fun. He looks a lot like you."  
"What happened to the eyes I gave you?"  
"Oh, they didn't work! I kept seeing weird pictures of you with buck teeth. But thanks anyway. They were very nice. I went to the doctor an' got new ones."  
Dib was watching Zim, snickering. Slightly disappointed, he turned to the roster to see whom he'd be paired up with. He looked it over and came to his name, and followed horizontally across the line to the other side, where his buddy's name would be. It was blank.  
"No one," he said for a moment, sighing. He'd always been alone. But that suited him better. At least he'd be able to work on his scheme without being called crazy.  
Meanwhile, Zim was being dragged off to his room he would share with his 'bestest friend'.  
"Get off of me filthy earthanoid! What is /wrong/ with you?! Why can't you just die!"  
********************************************  
Dib pushed open the creaky door to his home for the next week. He looked around the room, complete with bare, cracked walls, a single closet, an empty bunk bed devoid of any pillows or sheets, and a huge white wardrobe that had a few bent up hangers in it.  
He threw his countless bags on the bed and sat down for a moment by the window in the far back of the room. There was a flat surface that jutted out in front of it, enabling him to do this. He turned and saw that hidden behind the bed was a small white desk.   
"This room isn't all to bad," he thought. He looked out the window again and pushed away the curtains (white, of course). He found that there was quite a fall outside; he could see the tops of many trees, and that was about it. A soft mist began to form among the trees, reflecting the golden yellow rays of the sun as it hovered in the air. Dib cursed inside. It was the perfect weather, at the wrong time. They'd been given two hours to get ready before dinner. By that time, the mist might be gone, and Zim would be safe once again.  
Dib stood up and decided to get ready. He put his case files and folders on the table, and all his bedside items on... well, the bed. He carefully pulled out all his instruments and weapons and neatly placed them in the closet, and then his clothes in the wardrobe. Next, he put up a lock on the closet, and a room guard above his door, just in case. To finish it all off, he pulled out his journal from his backpack and put it in the desk drawer. Next to it, a small grey, rectangular object with the words 'Eye In The Sky' in purple lettering across it.  
He checked his watch. It was almost time for dinner. Taking a glance at his newly prepared room, he decided he was satisfied. "Yes," he said aloud. "This should be a good week."  
He closed the door as he left, making sure the room guard was on.  
*****************************************  
"Top bunk! Top bunk! Top bunk! Top bunk!" a hyper Keef was shouting as he jumped atop the bunk beds. Zim lay under it, thoroughly annoyed and hoping Keef would just go away.  
"Hey, Keef, buddy," Zim said sweetly, getting a sudden idea. "How about you go get me something?"  
"Like what, buddy?" Keef popped his head down from the top bunk to where Zim was laying.  
"Ummm... get me a..." Zim tried to think for a second.  
"Cupcake!" shouted Gir from his backpack.  
"Okay!" Keef said, unfazed that Zim's 'voice' had just changed. He hopped down from the top bunk and ran out of the room.  
Zim shut the door behind Keef, breathing a sigh of relief. He locked the door and took off his backpack, pulling Gir out of it.  
"Now, Gir, you have to be quiet. Quiet! If anyone sees you in here they might..." he shuddered, "Suspect something."  
"O...kaaay." Gir said.  
"I have to figure out where to put you," Zim mumbled. He searched around the drab room, somewhat missing the cold, techno-mechanic look that he was used to. "I suppose the bed will have to do. Now, Gir, what are you *not* going to do?"  
Gir cocked his head to the side. "Ummm... eat?"  
"No, Gir. You are not going to talk. You are not going to sing. You will make NO NOISE unless I say you can. Understand?"  
"Yes sir!" Gir's eyes flashed red for a fleeting moment (for a *very* fleeting moment). Zim set Gir under the bed and then stood up.  
"Now... to make sure Keef doesn't get into anything..." He stuffed his entire luggage into the closet to avoid the wardrobe, which Keef had taken over with piles of wrinkled and messy clothes.  
It turned out Keef wasn't all that neat of a person, though that wasn't exactly a surprise to Zim. Most of Keef's things already lay strewn around the room. Angrily, Zim picked it all up and threw it on the top bunk, just to make sure he wouldn't trip over it. As a finishing touch, Zim set up jars of glue around the room. Two for the desk, two under the bed, one underneath his pillow, four in the closet, three on the top of the wardrobe, and two more under the mattress of his bed.  
"Oooh... look master!" Gir squealed from under the bed, pointing at the window.  
"Gir, what did I just tell you? Do not- GAH!" Zim directed his view to where Gir was pointing. "It's raining! While it's sunny! Of all the stupid, Earth things..." Zim crept up to the window to peer at the mist. "How is an invader like me supposed to be PREPARED for this thing called 'water'? Stupid humans... they must have not just booby-trapped their sun but ALL the weather!"  
He paced. "No matter... I'll just have to bathe in paste before I go. Gir!"  
"Sir!" came a muffled voice from under the bed.  
"I'm leaving to go bathe in paste. I'll lock to door. Don't let that Keef in. Don't let anyone in until you hear *my voice*. Understand?"  
"Yes sir!" Gir said, then slopped down into his cyan-eyed, goofy looking posture.  
Zim sighed as he grabbed the bottle of paste from under his pillow. This was going to be a long week.  
******************************************  
"Okay, groupies," the cheery camp counselor, Krystie, began. "Each school is assigned a different star. When you enter any room in Astro-Camp, it'll have the name of your star above it. That's where you'll meet! Now, your star is..." she read over her clipboard, "Betelgeuse. Isn't that fantastic? It's the pink one, right up there!" She pointed to the night sky, which was clear. There were millions of stars that night, and as Dib stared at the huge velvet black blanket that seemed studded with scintillating drops of water, he could not help but feel awed. His eyes searched for 'Betelgeuse', and he thought he actually found the little pink star. He took a glance at Zim, who looked more bored than interested. "Of course Zim wouldn't be interested," Dib muttered to himself. "He doesn't care about anything except for himself and his stupid conquest of Earth."  
"Alrighty," Krystie said. "Now let's get into that cafeteria and eat! Afterwards, we'll all settle down for the night, and then we'll start tomorrow bright and early with a 'Hike At Dawn'!"  
"Let's go, campers!" Mr. Timms said, leading them into the cafeteria.  
Dib slowly followed the group into the noisy, stuffy room. It was packed with kids from ten other schools, and was not only hot, but messy. Many of the other classes had already eaten because they were able to arrive earlier.  
After getting his tray and food (which looked astonishingly like an array of ketchup and rice), Dib looked at the signs above each cafeteria table. "Betelgeuse... Betelgeuse..." he muttered under his breath. "Oh! There it is." He stepped toward the table when he suddenly tripped over something else. He fell flat on his face... straight into the red and white mush on his plate.  
The entire cafeteria burst into laughing. Dib stood up, trying to get the sticky mess off him, his face burning.  
"Sorry, Dib," came a leering voice behind him, dripping with sarcasm. "I didn't see you there."  
Dib turned around. "Zim! Zim you creep, you are going to PAY. Do you hear me?"  
Zim pretended to look afraid for a moment, and then joined in laughter with the other students and took his place at the table. Face burning redder than the ketchup that smeared it, Dib stomped off, out of the cafeteria.  
"I hate him I hate him I HATE HIM," Dib growled, cursing silently under his breath. He looked up at the sky, seeing some clouds accumulate against the backdrop of the moonlit sky. This brought him no joy; the clouds weren't even enough to rain on a daisy.  
His stomach growled, but Dib chose to ignore it. He knew, inside, that his luck would change. He knew, inside, the tides would turn. But would they turn enough?  
"I swear," he said, looking up at the Betelgeuse system. It was his star. He made it so. "I swear, I will give a final confrontation with Zim before the end of this week." The star seemed to glow brighter as if in response, then went in a fluctuation of dimming and glittering. "Him, or me. One of us will meet our defeat."  
  
  
A/N: Ooh, dramatic. (Eg... not too dramatic, hopefully). I'll have the next one up... um... soon. 


	4. When Days Fly (Plan 1)

Actually, this was supposed to be a bit longer... but I edited out 'Tuesday' because I'm tired and I don't feel like finishing it :p So you can just get Monday, and then Chapter 5 will be super long, with Tuesday, Wednesday, and possibly Thursday (alright! Let's go to McDonalds! ::Zim blinks:: "What is this... McDonald's?" Oh! It's like McMeaties, except it serves billions and billions. Zim: ::evil grin:: "And is it's meat... SPACE MEAT??? Can it protect from Germs as well?"::blink, blink:: I'm not sure... but I'm pretty sure it isn't real meat. Zim: ::evil laugh:: I SHALL RULE MCDONALDS WITH AN IRON FIST! ::jumps in front of Ronald:: YOU! EARTH-CLOWN! OBEY MY EVIL FIST OF DOOM!) o.o See, that's how tired I am. I've become delusional. Hah. Getting back to the task at hand... enjoy or hate... I'm really too tired to care. And I shall be back! Bla! ::crawls toward bed::  
  
Chapter 4: When Days Fly (Plan 1)  
  
*Monday*: Plan 1  
  
"Today we get to blow up things!" said their camp counselor, Krystie, as she stood in front of the class in a new, bright pink outfit that could probably be seen from three miles away. "Now, your teacher said that she already taught you all you ever needed to know about gases and their relation to chemistry, so I'll leave you guys all the materials and you can work on your own determining the rate of diffusion and kinetic energy of combustion of each of these aqueous compounds!"  
The entire class stared up at her blankly.  
"Ms. Bitters never taught us..." a kid began to say, but was immediately jabbed in the stomach by another student.  
"Shut up! We get to play with fire!"  
"Oh."  
"Here you go," Krystie said, passing out goggles, gloves, testing tubs, and cotton swabs. "The aqueous substances are already at your desk! Just combine them with other elements to make the gases, then use any means of heat to produce your exothermic reaction. Have fun!"  
"Hey, look at this! This one says... sodi...um dini...tride..." the same kid that spoke earlier said. "I wonder what'll happen if I add it to... umm... H20!!!"  
KABOOM!  
Dib shuddered for a moment as his table shook, but overall ignored the sudden small explosion behind him. He was exhausted because he'd gotten up extra early that morning to deploy: Plan 1.  
Extra early meaning before the dawn of light... of course, the hike they were supposed to have occurred just before dawn (they were supposed to meet at 5:00 in the morning precisely) and so, in order to prepare, Dib had to wake up two hours earlier.  
It was supposed to work perfectly. He would set the machine at the very top of the mountain, just before everyone else would arrive from the exhausting climb. As soon as Zim stood on it, metal bars would spring up, trapping the alien once and for all. It was fail-proof... or, supposedly it was. He'd even put up a sign right next to it that said: "For Humans Only" as a sort of reverse psychology that would trick Zim into standing there. But Zim, actually, had found a way to get to the top of the mountain even /earlier/, and wasn't tricked.  
Dib sighed a puff of dirt, and thumbed a finger through his mud-caked hair. No, Zim wasn't tricked. But at least he was able to get something out of it. He looked over at the Irken, who was also strewn over his own lab table, just as exhausted as he.  
Zim wasn't interested in doing anything with the primitive human technology, though it would have been fun to laugh at the stupid class which were in the process of severely mauling their arms and legs by giving themselves third degree burns from combusting the gases. He wasn't in the mood to laugh at all right now.  
He'd woken up extremely early to deploy his own plan to get rid of the human stinkbeast Dib. Extra early. After sneaking out, he'd taken the grueling climb to the top of the mountain to set up his trap. A cage. All Dib had to do was stand on top of the leaves, and he'd fall in. For bait, Zim placed on the ground a sad-looking stuffed bunny that he'd stolen from Keef. He tied on two antennae made of sticks and leaves to the bunny's head. Then he placed the bunny in a small thatch, so that Dib could only see the antennae poking out. The thatch was directly over the cage, which would collapse as soon as Dib stood on it. With that, Zim jumped behind a set of bushes to wait.  
About a half an hour later, he found the human boy trekking slowly up the mountain alone. This was perfect! Zim thought. Dib didn't notice the little 'alien bunny'. For the longest time, he was busy setting up his own trap. Zim watched, waiting patiently.  
Then Dib just stood there. Annoyed, Zim yelled "HEY!".  
Dib jumped a mile from the sudden shout, piercing the usual quiet air. It would have been funny, and Zim had to stifle a laugh. Dib turned and saw the antennae of the 'alien bunny'. Slowly, he advanced toward it.  
Zim, stifling another laugh, ducked and waited to hear the crash! that would signify Dib's fall into the trap. It never came.  
Zim peeked up again. What was taking that stupid human boy so long? Then he realized that Dib wasn't there anymore.  
"Where... is...?" Zim began, when he suddenly heard a piercing yell and felt someone crashing into him.  
"No!" Zim yelled. He used his legs to propel off the ground just before touching the trap in the ground, and sailed over it. But then behind him, Dib did the same and grabbed the Irken by the waist, forcing him to the ground. They rolled around a little bit in the dirt and stopped. Zim let out a sigh, then looked up and saw the sign Dib had put up... 'For Humans Only'.  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" Zim yelled as the metal bars sprang up.  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!!" Dib agreed.  
The cage wasn't meant for two. It began rocking at the imbalance.  
"Oh... fu-" Dib began, and then he, Zim, and the entire cage careened down the mountain.  
"AH! OUCH! OOF!" Zim yelled with each bounce.  
"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Dib yelled as they rolled through a thicket of thorny, dried up weeds.  
"MY SQUEEDILY SPOOCH!"  
"MY LIVER!"  
"THE PAIN!"  
"THE AGONY!"  
Finally, after seven bounces, they landed at the bottom of the mountain.   
"Ouch."  
Groaning and aching, Zim pushed open the bent up metal bars and crawled out. Dib slowly followed.  
"You will pay for that, human," Zim muttered as he slowly attempted to stand up.  
"Shut up, Zim."  
"Oh, looky! We have two eager hikers already here!" Krystie said as she walked up to them, their sleepy-eyed class following slowly behind her.  
Dib groaned as he attempted to fix his cracked glasses.  
"Heh, heh, heh," a kid said, looking at the two. "Wonder what you guys have been doing."  
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" Dib yelled.  
Zim stood there, dumbfounded, as the joke sailed right over his head.  
"Well, since you two seem to be SUCH keen students, you can climb up the mountain first!"  
"Not again," Dib groaned.  
If Dib thought he had it bad, Zim was in for an even worse fate. The entire way back up the mountain, he had to deal with Keef trailing behind him. At the top, Zim couldn't take it.  
"Hey, Keef, look over there."  
Keef turned. "Look! Ears!" Keef slowly approached the thatch. "A bunny!!! Cool!" Keef jumped on it, hugging it. And then the ground underneath him collapsed. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
Presently, Dib sighed, closing his eyes and trying to get some sleep as the science room around him burst into flames. Exasperated, he slowly got up and dragged himself out of the room before the whole place exploded. Zim silently followed.  
Later that evening, after dinner, Zim was hobbling back to the room. He knocked on the door, thrice. At first, there was no answer. He knocked on it again. Again, nothing. "Gir?! What are you doing in there? Let me in!"  
The door slowly opened. Light flooded in. And standing in the doorway was...  
"KEEF?!"  
"Hiya buddy! Sorry it took me so long to get the door."  
"I THOUGHT I LEFT YOU AT THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN!!!"  
"Yeah, but it was getting kinda cold up there."  
"How did you get down?"  
Keef grinned and gave Zim a blank minded stare. "I climbed down. Same way I got up."  
"But... you were stuck... in the trap..." Zim stammered. He sighed and groped over to the bed, too tired to complain. Instantly, he fell asleep, hoping tomorrow wouldn't be worse.  
  
  
  
  
Was that short? Or long? I can't tell. Review anyway. Bla! "You like fan fiction. You cannot live without fan fiction. You must have fan fiction! Fan fiction is your air. You LOVE fan fiction!" 


	5. Tides That Can’t Choose Which Way They W...

So I lied again. I promise I'll combine Wednesday and Thursday- Wed. shouldn't take that long and neither should Thurs. Anyway, I hated that other chapter, and so I wanted this one out as soon as possible. It's much better (I hope). And I'm not delusional anymore! Though I still imagine perfectly Zim holding a gun to that evil Ronald clown's head... *ahem* Oh! I changed the secondary genre to humor, since people seem to like that aspect of the fic. I love oxymoronic genres... Drama/Humor ^.^ Anyway, enjoy. It'll get angsty later, just wait until you see what happens *Thursday*.  
  
  
Chapter 5: Tides That Can't Choose Which Way They Want To Turn (Plans 2-3)  
  
*Tuesday*- Plans 2 & 3  
  
"Because of yesterday's fire," Krystie began, "the fire department has told me to move you kids into some place not so... dangerous. So I decided to let you guys do the teamwork exercise!" She cocked her head to the side. "K?"  
"K!" the students chorused.  
"Today's adventure," she went on, "Involves an underwater space station. It's your job to put it completely together. In the end, it should look like this!" Krystie pulled out a picture of an intricately detailed model of a space ship.  
"Now, you all will be separated into two groups. You can come up for air, but you must complete the space model *under* the water. K?"  
"K!"  
"Everyone has to wear a scuba diving outfit, too. When you're done, call me and we'll have a test run. K?"  
"K!"  
"The groups are up on the board. Go for it."  
Zim cautiously approached the board where the list was, hoping that he wouldn't be put in the same group as Dib. The list was next to a huge blue poster that said "Swim Or Drown... We Could Care Less Unless You Do It Smoking", and then at the very bottom in white lettering were the words "Philip Morris Co." Ignoring the poster and focusing on the list, Zim scanned the names and his eyes rested on his own name. He belonged to Group 2. He continued down the list, and cursed in his own Irken language when he saw that at the very bottom of the names in Group 2 was his rival's: Dib.  
"Say, Zim," the familiar annoying voice said right behind Zim. "I hope you don't burn too much in the water. It'd be a real shame if you... oh, I don't know... DIE?!"  
Zim grinned, thankful that he had been smart enough to take a long bath in paste that morning (mostly it was partly thanks to Keef- Zim wanted to spend as little time as possible around the child freak). He would survive. As for Dib...   
"Just watch out, Dib," Zim said, turning to the boy, who looked very different without his normal trench coat attire (instead, he was wearing a long white t-shirt that went down to his knees, and a black towel was draped over his right shoulder). "I hope you can swim. My species, of course, are natural born swimmers."  
"Oh really?"  
"Yes," Zim lied.   
"Swim in WHAT? You never knew what water was until you came here."  
"We swam in green jelly-o."  
"Green Jelly-o?"  
"YES," Zim said tersely. "Jelly-o! Stronger than your disgusting jell-o, greener than I am, more delicious with every bite. It tastes like-"  
"Chicken?"  
"No, Dib. It tastes like... really green jelly-o stuff. Obviously, we were born superior to humans in every way!"  
"Because you swam in jelly-o."  
"Yes! Mwa ha ha ha ha!"  
Dib looked around, but knew it was no good to rant because no one had heard, anyway. Growling, Dib pushed Zim out of the way to the box of scuba outfits. He peeled off his outer T-shirt to reveal dark blue swimming trunks with small, round eyes with red irises as decor around it. He'd got it from the Mysterious Mysteries Official Wear catalogue and was quite proud of it. Slowly, he slipped the scuba-diving outfit on over them, and then trudged toward the water.  
Zim followed, repeating the process, but stripped off his outer shirt to reveal chocolate cupcake designed swimming trunks. It had been Gir's idea, obviously, and Zim was still under the impression that the robot was advanced. He pulled on his scuba outfit and followed Dib to their group's side of the pool, slowly peering in. He sat on the edge like that, gazing at the water for a moment.  
It was similar to another liquid found on Irk, in a way. The aqua-marine color, the smooth, rippling texture, the way the water flowed from the movement of the atmosphere above it. Of course, the liquid that he was referring to ('Tetrazolion') was much more beautiful, and the liquid wasn't as thick, it was midway between being a liquid and a gas. It also served as their main energy source, much like this 'water' of the humans'.  
"YAH!!!" a sudden yell came from behind Zim. He felt a rough push in his back and teetered helplessly off the edge.  
SPA-LOOSH!  
Zim found himself turned upside down in the water. He flailed his arms and legs, realizing he'd never been completely underwater before and didn't exactly know what to do. His hands bumped something rough, and hard. He opened his eyes for a moment and realized it was the /bottom/ of the pool. He'd been going the wrong way the entire, panicked, thrashing time. He shut his eyes quickly again because for some reason this water stung his eyes, more than the 'rain' water did.  
His breathing apparatus (not lungs, because he doesn't have any) burned for air. Zim thrashed again, trying to direct his way upwards, when he felt being pulled up by the waist. He dared not open his eyes to see who it was, but instead relaxed, letting himself be pulled upwards by the unidentified force. He felt himself surface, and tried to breathe in the unhealthy Earthen air (which was much better than the unhealthy Earthen water), but his breathing apparatus was filled with too much with water. He tried to gasp for air again, but couldn't. Finally, he shut his eyes even more tightly and waited as the darkness enveloped him.  
********************************  
A few seconds later, Zim opened his eyes... to be met face to face with Keef.  
"AUGH!" Zim coughed and sputtered, pushing himself up. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO ME?! EVIL... GERM SUCKING CREATURE!!!"  
"I was saving your life!" Keef said proudly. "You didn't have any air in your lungs, so I gave you some of mine... buddy."  
Zim coughed unnecessarily even longer to get Keef's 'germs' out of his mouth, and slowly stood up, glaring at Dib, who was peering cautiously at Zim from behind another student.  
"YOU pushed me in, didn't you?!" he accused.  
"No," Dib said, backing away. "I swear Zim I didn-"  
"You will pay!" Zim yelled as he leapt at Dib, and the two engaged in an exchange of fists and kicks before they were separated by Mr. Timms and Krystie within moments. The disappointed circle of kids that surround them to watch the fight quickly dispersed.  
Zim, his arms held together by the amazingly strong camp counselor, struggled to free himself. "YOU WILL PAY! YOU HEAR ME, COWARD???"  
"YOU AND WHAT ARMY, ZIM? HUH? Your little a-lien armada?"  
Zim couldn't respond- Dib knew that. Cursing under his breath in his own language, Zim freed himself from Krystie and stomped off. "I hate him, I hate him, I hate HIM!" he said, reaching the building that had all the dorm rooms that they were staying in. He reached his own and swung the door open, too angry at Dib to care that Gir had forgotten to lock it, and slammed it shut.  
"Hiya master!" came a muffled voice from under the bed. "I'm playing with BuNny!"  
"BuNny?"  
"He's my newest friend!" A small, green paw popped out from under the bed. In it was what looked like a crumpled peice of dirty cotton.  
"Gir, that is what humans call a dust bunny. It is nothing but-"  
"My dust BuNny!" Gir said, the hand disappearing back under the bed. "What's that BuNny?" the robot said, sticking the dust bunny closer to his ear. "Yes, you're so right. I love master too! Guess what master? BuNny loves you!"  
"Go to sleep or something, Gir," Zim said, plopping down on the window sill and looking out at the woods that lay before him. He knew he wouldn't be able to survive the rest of the week. It was only the 3rd day, and already he regretted coming here. Something had to be done. Something had to be done now.  
**********************************  
It was dark out. Dib had just come back from dinner in the cafeteria. He hadn't seen Zim all day since the pool incident, and hoped that the little Irken hadn't decided to leave. He was having a better day than yesterday, and hoped his luck would continue. He might even succeed in getting rid of Zim once and for all this time.  
Cockily, Dib started toward his room early. He wanted to get a good night's rest to prepare for tomorrow.   
When he reached his door, he found it was open.  
"Funny..." Dib thought. "I thought I locked it when I left." Panicked, he flung the door open. His room was *thrashed* completely. The door guard, which was supposed to blast an alarm of warning that could be heard for miles if any intruder walked in without using the lock lay dismantled on the floor. The door of the closet, which used to hold his weapons on things, lay ajar on the side. Gizmos, gadgets, all sorts of things, lay strewn across the floor, broken or severely dented. What was the worst was that a bunch of small parts, bolts and wire, were arranged on Dib's bed, a clear insult by graffiti. The words 'Invader Zim' were formed.  
Clenching his fist, Dib ran out the room and down the hall. He didn't know where Zim's room was, but he'd find it. He ran past numerous other doors, down a hall that was in complete darkness but a small light in the back impaling it. Dib ran toward the light and banged his arm on the door.  
"Zim! I know you're in there! Come out right now you coward!"  
He heard a hushed voice.  
"Master! There's someone at the door!"  
Then a few snickers. "Of course there is, Gir. Be quiet."  
Dib kicked the door, thrashing his arms wildly. "Open this door! Open it now you... you jerk! Open it!"  
He gave his fist another try at the door, but instead met it with the hand of Zim, who opened the door and caught it.  
"Oh, Dib. I was wondering when you would see my..." he grinned. "Creation."  
"You coward! You ruined everything I had! You knew I'd be a threat to you! You knew it!"  
"You are no threat to me, stinkbeast. I just wanted to make sure you knew the power of Zim!"  
Dib's faced was flushed. Angrily he pushed Zim into the room and slammed the door shut. "You are going to pay, you know that you little alien? I spent a lot of hard work into making those weapons, and working to pay for them!"  
"Obviously you didn't spend enough time, or money. That cheap stuff was easy to destroy! It was barely worth the five minutes I spent destroying it."  
Dib was in a boiling rage, now. A hundred murderous thoughts toward the alien passed through his mind- the one that stuck was cutting Zim open like a simple piece of fruit while the Irken was still very much alive and screaming, after strapping him to a chair with ropes so tight it would cut off the alien's circulation (if he even had any). Then Dib would drain Zim's blood and watch the color fade from his archrival's face. He'd take his organs out, one by one, and put them in a jar for display. He'd extract the alien's brain, and study it. And worst of all, Dib would then infiltrate the dead alien's lab, and find out where his 'homeworld' was. He'd go there and he'd destroy every last one of those filthy aliens.  
But Dib could do none of the sort. He didn't even look at Zim. Instead, he spun around and walked out, slamming the door behind him.  
Zim looked at the now closed door with a cocked head. It wasn't like Dib to make no threat at all like that. Something was different. Something was up.  
But it was no matter. Zim had gotten him back- thrown what he thought at the time was the final blow for their little 'Astro-Camp Battle'.  
But the final blow had yet to come.  
  
  
  
  
A quick note: Thanks to all of you who've been reviewing. I don't write unless people review... so... um... keep reviewing! Or this will become a Neverending Story! o.o What an interesting crossover that'd be... Lol, and Arm&Leg, you never know... I was definitely thinking of you when I wrote that comment in that last chapter (you, taitofan, AND taitogurl... one of those three ^.~)  



	6. The Human Has Finally Snapped (Plan 4)

Chapter 6: The Human Has Finally Snapped (Plan 4)  
  
Special thanks to Briniirene for being my 100th overall reviewer! And thanks to everyone who's been reviewing too...::sniffle:: I love you guys...  
*Cough*. Anyway, like I said, Thursday will be a trip.  
I think I went into a bit too much description, but that's only so that we can slide into the next dominant mood of the story. We're gonna lose one of our two main comic relief chars (Gir or Keef) but you gotta read on to find out who ^.^ And yeah, I planned this to come out today. THURSDAY! Evil...  
I never trusted Thursdays anyway... they trick you! They *mock* you. It's like they're saying "Ha! You want it to be the end of the week, but you still have one more day to go! Mwa ha ha!" So... yes. Whenever you think of Thursday, think of this evil... thingie..., laughing at you. Because it is. IT IS!!!  
I'm shutting up now. On to the story.  
Oh. Before I forget. Good luck to Arm&Leg on their trip. Come back alive, you still have some fanfic to do. ^.^ Also, good luck to you, whatgoodlyricsdotome, on your trip as well. And don't you go dying either. I want you both to finish your fics, dammit!  
Ok. *Now* I'm shutting up.  
  
  
*Wednesday*: Plan 4  
  
It was already noon, and still nothing had been attempted. A normal time had passed at breakfast. Dib didn't even *look* at Zim. And then there was science class. They studied about why the water molecule was so special. There was even a demonstration- someone had to get up and describe water using a paper model. Dib had a huge chance to make fun of Zim at that time. But nothing happened.  
This worried Zim.  
It was lunchtime now, and he glanced over at Dib, who was sitting at the far end of the table alone. If his sister were here, Dib most likely would be sitting with her. But she wasn't, and he had no one else to sit with.  
Zim pitied Dib, in a way. He had no friends. No ally with a common ground. Not that Zim had any friends anyway but at least he had soldiers that respected him... well, okay, he used to have that, but it was better than nothing.  
"Humans are such fools," Zim thought, turning back to his food tray. The food here wasn't that bad, much better than the food back at the cafeteria, but it was still human food and still disgusting.  
Dib made a sudden movement, and Zim jerked to attention, making sure Dib wasn't attempting to do anything.  
He wasn't. He simply stood up, pushed the remains of his lunch tray into the trashcan, and walked off. He didn't give Zim a glance. He didn't try and yell anything about how Zim was an alien. He just... left.  
Zim quickly ascended from his table and followed Dib out of the cafeteria. He wanted to see what his enemy was up to.  
He made it outside to where the cool mountain air blew. It was much more different up here, definitely better than that filthy city that Dib lived in. Zim almost liked it up here. Almost. It had too many trees and was too... calm. Zim shuddered at this. In fact, the quietness was almost too much to bear. If it wasn't for Keef's garrulous tendencies or Gir's incessant need to talk to 'BuNny', Zim would be going out of his mind from the silence.  
Not that silence wasn't bad. At times it was undoubtedly necessary. But too much of it was... eerie.   
Dib walked out into the bright area, slowly at first, then more quickly. "What is that human boy up to?" Zim said softly, then proceeded to quickly pursue.  
Dib had broken out to a run, now, to some place further down the camp area. He neared the gates that surrounded the entire camp. Barbed wire was set on top, and a huge white sign with the words in red lettering: 'FORBIDDEN TERRITORY: Do NOT enter' was hung directly under.  
And then Dib stopped.  
Zim slowly crept up upon his nemesis, hiding behind a huge tree planted near where Dib stood. He quieted his breath and looked on, wondering what Dib was doing. Why was he here?  
Dib slowly turned around. His face twisted into an unreadable expression.  
And he began to laugh.  
Not a laugh out of reaction to humor, or an 'I've-got-a-devious-plan' laugh. It was a laugh that Zim couldn't quite place. It was a deep-throated, maniacal laugh. And as quickly as it had come, it stopped, and he turned directly toward where Zim was hiding.  
"Zim," he said loudly, his hand reaching under his trench coat. His heart was beating quickly, now, but he was ready. "I know you're here. You've been watching me all day. Following me. You think you have the upper hand? Come out and prove it to me."  
Zim didn't move. He knew, all this time?! Dib was smarter than he looked.  
This entire day Zim thought Dib was just ignoring him. But, in fact, Dib was using the cold shoulder as a way to trap Zim. Zim had no choice. He was ill prepared. But Dib was too, wasn't he? He didn't have any weapons... they were all destroyed. Weren't they?  
Zim stepped out. "You ready to finally face me? I thought you'd be too ashamed after what happened yesterday, Dib."  
Dib didn't grin, or make any facial expression that recognized surprise of any kind. Instead he gave Zim a sickening glare. A thought crossed his face, like something just dawned on him. "You don't have any weapons with you."  
"Of course not!" the Irken yelled, annoyed.  
"Not smart, Zim. You should always keep everything at hand in case of a threat."  
"I destroyed all of your weapons, foolish human, thus I destroyed the threat."  
"You will never destroy the threat until you destroy me," Dib said simply. "And you didn't manage to destroy all of them. All those parts you left? The bolts and the wires and everything else? Stupid mistake, Zim. A stupid, stupid mistake." He pulled out the weapon he had.  
Zim stared at it, attempting to assess the new 'threat'. He wasn't sure of what it did. He wasn't even sure of how much of a threat it was. It was long, and black, and shone in the sun. It was an odd shape as well, like two poles had been stuck together with a bunch of wiring stuck inside. And then, tied to the very end: a white utensil-looking object that looked like a cross between a spoon and a fork.  
"A spork?" Zim asked aloud, suddenly.  
"Yes," Dib said, then grinned. "A spork. I will poke out the vile strawberry red jelly of your alien eyes with a spork! And then... heh heh... well... you'll see."  
Zim backed up slowly. "Dib... are you positive you're alright? Heh... you look like you haven't had enough sleep. You know, I have a great remedy that'll get that insomnia cured. Z?"  
"I think I'll give you a cure for insomnia, Zim. A permanent one." Dib advanced toward him, the weapon in hand, pointed toward the alien.   
"No, that's quite alright, I don't have insomnia... what are you doing with that thing? Get away from me! I don't like that look..."  
Without responding, Dib jumped at Zim, jabbing the weapon directly at his head.   
"AHH! Watch where you're pointing that!" Zim dodged the shot, misjudging his evasion techniques and tripping to the ground.  
"Yes, yes, yes! Fall, Zim! FALL! They called me a fool! But now, now I have proof. I have your dead body as proof Zim. Not pictures, not stupid recordings... living... well... formerly living... actual... PROOF!"  
"You are out of your mind, human. Get away from me with that thing!"  
Dib swung it, hard, striking the side of Zim's face. Zim struggled to stand up and backed up toward the fence, holding his face with his gloved hand. He looked down to see the former black glove now looking more like a dark magenta.  
"It's almost sad, Zim, seeing you go like this. I mean, it's a spork. A spork! A HA HA HA HA!"  
"Remind me to never again piss you off."  
Dib stopped laughing and met Zim's eyes. He didn't grin this time. He just... stared.  
The Irken was bent doubled over backwards, a dirty mess because he was now sitting on the ground. Half his face was one huge scratched mass of Irken blood and broken skin. The other half...  
SWIPE!  
The other half was now the same. Dib grinned as Zim touched the other side of his face, which now also had three slashes against it. He looked down at his own hands and saw them covered in the Irken's blood.  
Zim clenched his fist, ready to pounce on the human. He had to fight back. He couldn't go like this. He had to...  
Zim realized now that along with a clenched fist, he also had his eyes shut tight. Why was he so afraid? It was the human. He had never actually seen the human looking so... malicious. So different.  
Hush.  
Now was not the time for silence. Zim slowly opened his eyes and stood up, looking about him. The wind was slowly picking up, blowing up a cloud of dirt from the ground. A tree in the far distance swayed. The sky above was still bright, the sun shining brightly as ever as it passed its' 'no shadow time' mark.  
But Zim was alone.  
Dib was gone.  
  
  
*Thursday*: No Plan  
  
The sun was just about to peek over the horizon, and the imminent dawn was clear now. A faint splash of pink melted across the sky, blending into the deep blue to make a soft, dark purple in between.  
Dib sat on the roof, gazing as the stars, one by one, disappeared, and the biggest one (from Earth's view) began to appear. It was quiet on the roof, and very cold considering the sun was not yet out to warm the atmosphere up. Dib shivered and pulled his coat more closely together.  
He wiped his mouth, which had become very dry. He supposed it was stupid that he didn't drink any water, as was usually advised in the high altitude, but he didn't care.  
He leaned down and wrote another entry in his book. Then he closed it and shoved it in his coat pocket. No, he didn't really care much about anything these days.  
Truthfully, yesterday scared him.  
It wasn't like him to snap like that. Sure, it was fun seeing the usually cocky alien afraid for a change, but it just wasn't him. He felt pretty stupid for the weapon he'd spent all night making, and stuffed it into a deep pocket on the inside of his coat. It would be no use, now.  
The spork had been an added touch, only because Dib wanted to torture Zim a little before he set off the actual purpose of the weapon. It was a handheld shocking device, not something too special but it would have definitely caught Zim off guard. Dib wasn't even sure if it worked. He didn't have a chance to test it out, because he had spent that entire night making it. Dib thought back. Did he even sleep that night? Probably not.  
But the same was for this night. He just didn't sleep. He'd been awake for two full days, now, and was just about to go into his third. He wasn't exhausted, though. Not the physical kind of exhaustion anyway.  
Dib sighed and leaned forward on the roof. He was sitting on top of the building that had all the rooms, but didn't really care. They could find him up here for all that mattered. It wouldn't change anything.  
He looked at his hand, and for a moment thought that he still had some of Zim's blood still on it. But, in blinking, he found that it was gone. It better have been, for all the rough scrubbing Dib had done using a hard soap bar that was offered in the bathrooms.  
"Yet, here's a spot," he said, laughing softly at his own lame joke and then putting his hand down.  
Today would be the first day without plans. Without pursuit. Dib wasn't going to try anything with Zim but stay away from him. Maybe that would clear his mind.  
"This was all Zim's doing," Dib thought. "My sleeplessness, my constant fighting... my entire energy is devoted to him. I want my own life back."  
Dib tried to think. What *had* life been like before Zim came? Strange as it may have sounded, he couldn't quite remember. But that was probably because since Zim came, life itself had become exhausting. A constant battle, day to day, where one mistake could end up costing everything.  
Dib watched the sun rise, hoping today would be different. No, /knowing/ today would be different.  
From far beyond the horizon, not so far from where the sun was rising, was that single little pink star, giving off a last shining eminence before becoming invisible to the human eye.  
*********************************  
Zim watched as the sun began to set. The day was uneventful, to say the least. He stayed as far away from Dib as he possibly could, watching the humans' every move, but this time not making the mistake of following the human everywhere he went.  
There was another class project, but it was boring and not worth mentioning. The day had actually passed by pretty quickly. Astro-Camp was still not over. Zim grimaced at the thought of having to spend three more days in this horrid place.  
That's why he was happy to hear Krystie's announcement that evening at dinner. He distinctly remembered every word.  
"Tonight, Campers, we're going on a very special hike. Around here we call it The Astrology Walk. Now, in order to make sure you're completely safe, you need to pick one partner and meet me by the Astro-Camp office at 9:00 p.m.! All you need to bring is a flashlight, but I doubt you'll even be needing that. It's just in case you get separated from the group, not that that's likely to happen."  
The idea had suddenly sprung on Zim. Of course! He wasn't held back by the boundaries that these human fools were! He had Gir to help him. And thankfully Zim had been smart enough to replace that homing chip. They couldn't be too far from home... the bus ride had been exhausting but Zim couldn't stand staying another day.  
Zim blinked as he realized a lot of time had passed. The sun was now completely gone underneath the horizon, and the moon rose in it's place. Thousands- millions of stars shone in the sky. Zim looked up, searching for his home.  
"Hey," came a voice.   
Zim shuddered. It was their loathed camp counselor, Krystie. Her personality sickened him and he almost wished that he had gotten a less talkative, less joyful, apocalyptic-type counselor like his teacher was. Not that Ms. Bitters was a great alternative, but she was sure as hell much better than this... Krystie.  
"You're here early!" she piped up. "Excited to go on the walk?"  
"Yes," Zim said, faking a smile. "Ever so excited."  
"Goody!" she clapped her hands. "Everyone should be arriving in a minute. You kids are so fun."  
"Yes...," Zim sneered under his breath. "I bet."  
Krystie was right, actually. Soon everyone did arrive. They seemed excited to go on this hike. Zim was just excited to get away.  
He shifted his backpack at that moment and heard a muffled sound. Quickly he stood still, hoping Gir (who he'd stuffed in there earlier) would follow his orders and keep quiet. After a moment he heard no more.  
  
He'd packed earlier, right after dinner, leaving some of the less important objects behind. It didn't matter.  
"Where are we going, master?" Gir had asked.  
"Home," Zim opened the robot's head to make sure the chip was still in there and not replaced by cupcakes or anything.  
"Yay!" Gir leapt up. "Can I bring BuNny?"  
"No, Gir, you can't."  
"Awww... please?" He leapt onto Zim's leg and squeezed it tight.  
"Fine... FINE! Just... you have to be on your best behavior. Okay, Gir?"  
"Yes master! I will be the best robot mongoose dog on the bestest of behavior!"  
"That means keeping quiet until I say it's okay to talk, and doing exactly what I say. Alright?"  
Gir hummed the doom song under his breath and then looked at Zim. "What?"  
Zim shook his head and stuffed some other things in his backpack. It didn't matter. He was going, whether Gir would begin to act right or not.  
  
"Are you guys all paired up?" Krystie asked, pulling Zim away from his trance.  
"Yes!" came the chorused voices of the class.  
Zim glared at the joyful Keef, who grinned back. "You ready for the hike, buddy?"  
"No."  
"Great! Let's go!"  
They set off into the woods, following quickly behind Krystie. They couldn't see a thing at all because Krystie told them not to turn their flashlights on.  
"It'll scare away all the animals," she explained. "Plus, you won't get as awesome a view of the stars, because the light from the flashlight will outshine the light from the stars, from your eyes' point of view."  
A sudden wind blew up the mountain, and Zim shivered. He hadn't realized human weather could be so varying. It was certainly unnerving. Back on Irk, there had been *one* constant weather, and that suited him fine. But no... here on Earth, everything had to be so complicated.  
They were halfway through the hike, with Krystie pointing out various stars and constellations along the way. Zim waited until Keef was preoccupied with something else, and then he slipped off into the woods.  
Dib, who was lingering behind, saw Zim slipping away into the woods. He didn't want to, but for some reason felt he had to follow.  
"After all," he thought. "If I don't, who will?"  
He followed the shadow quickly, every so often having to stop and listen to the crunching of leaves and twigs. For someone trying to sneak away, Zim wasn't very quiet.  
After about five minutes of walking and of Dib wondering where the heck Zim was going, he heard no more. He stopped at that moment. Where did he go?  
Dib cursed under his breath. It had been stupid following Zim, and a waste of time. He decided that he didn't particularly care at that moment, and turned back.  
That's when he met with a pair of glaring eyes.  
"AHH!" Dib jumped back. He turned his flashlight and met with the fake hazel eyes of Zim.  
"What are you doing following me, Dib?" he sneered.  
"Uh.... nothing. I wasn't following you! I um... thought you were a squirrel!"  
"Well, well, well. It seems that not only are you a psycho but you're a liar too. A bad one at that."  
"Yeah! Well... um..." Dib couldn't think of any retort so he just crossed his arms. "It doesn't matter. This 'psycho liar' is out of here." He began to walk off when he suddenly turned. "Hey... where are you going, anyway?"  
"Why do you care?" Zim sneered.  
"Well, if you're trying to get home early, it won't work."  
"And why not?!" Zim asked, slightly ticked that Dib had guessed his plans.  
"Because home is that way," Dib pointed toward the opposite direction that Zim was heading.  
"I KNEW that!" Zim said. "I was just... testing you. Yes." He walked off toward where Dib was pointing when suddenly he felt a harsh shove from behind.  
"I'm not letting you go, Zim," Dib said, grabbing on the Irken's red shirt and pushing him down toward the ground.  
"And why not? You want to slice me up with that spork of yours again?!" Zim said, pulling off his backpack as he spoke.  
"No. Course not. That wouldn't be a bad idea, though," he said thoughtfully. Dib shined the light on Zim's face to see the six dark scars on either side of his cheeks. "It's just that, if you leave, they'll send out a whole search party and everything, and it'll just ruin my entire weekend. Besides, if you get eaten by a bear, there goes all my evidence!"  
"I'm so glad you cared. Now I suggest you get your hands off of me, human, before you regret it." Zim shoved Dib away and pulled Gir out of his backpack. "Gir!"  
"Sir!"  
"Let's go home!"  
"Okay!"  
Zim slipped on his backpack and jumped on Gir's back. "See you later... human."  
"No!" Dib took a daring leap and grabbed onto Gir's leg just as the little unit took off. The imbalance made Gir's flight erratic (it was erratic anyway, but this time it was worse) and sent Gir spiraling toward all directions.  
"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Zim yelled.  
"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Dib agreed.  
"GET OFF HUMAN!" Zim attempted to pry Dib's hands off of Gir's leg.  
"No! NO! OW! Stop it!" Dib complained as the Irken began to pound his hands with his fist.  
"WOO HOO HOO!!!" Gir shouted, continuing his irregular twists and turns into the air. The screaming continued for Zim and Dib, however, as they hung onto Gir in the flight.  
"Gir! STOP! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP!" Zim yelled. Gir had no choice, however, as he ran into a tree and all three were flung backwards into a stream below them.  
Dib was choking- sputtering actually. There was water all around, and he couldn't fight the rushing water. He tried swimming but that did absolutely nothing. Then he felt a sharp, acute pain in the back of his head, and darkness surrounded him along with the gushing water.  
Zim was burning all over. It was pain, that's all he could feel. He didn't expect to run into the problem of water and he didn't expect to swim in it, either. Except, now he seemed to be drowning in it.  
"Not again!" Zim groaned as the water continued rushing against him. But he knew this time that no dark figure would be able to pull him out of it. He struggled as harshly as he could against the current before finally succumbing to the icy waters that swept him, Dib, and Gir further and further away from civilization.  



	7. Lost In Place

Chapter 7: Lost In Place  
  
It was out far, deep, deep into the woods.  
Past tall trees, and valleys and hills. Past a small river that snaked over through these valleys and hills, and animals of all varieties. Past a small camp, which stood alone, where children and adults alike were fast asleep. Past a mountain, and a lake, to where there was a beautiful view of a never ending sea of trees, and the sun in the far distance rising again.  
Past all this was a small clearing, where the river had become a small stream, trickling down a stairway of rocks and making a small round pool on the forest floor, then bending away in an even smaller stream towards somewhere.  
In this pool was a boy, with a pale face, drenched in the water. He lay hunched over and would look dead if it weren't for the ever so often rising and falling of his chest. His arms were strewn across the floor, his body twisted in a way that was strangely comfortable, his mouth hanging slightly open. His head, which rested on a pillow of moss, turned slightly, and into his mouth came the water. The pale boy, shocked at the icy water entering his mouth, woke up with a jerk, choking, sputtering, and groaning. He turned his head and threw up.  
Murky brown water curdled around him and flushed into his eyes. He blinked quickly, his eyes barely able to register the uncomfortable feeling the water implemented upon him, and out of habit reached over to where there should have been a clock. In seeing none, he sat up, and looked around to a world cracked in two. He rubbed his eyes, thinking his vision was impaired only to find glasses blocking him from doing this. Broken glasses.  
Despite his aching muscles, he forced himself to stand and look around to evaluate the situation. The sky was still dark, though over the horizon he was just able to register the fact that the sun was about to rise. A chilly wind blew where he stood and he was forced to shiver. He was still very wet and the cold mountain air didn't help. Off in the distance, there was a chatter of birds. The sound of the wind flowing weaving through the trees could be heard as well. And the water where the boy stood...  
He looked down to see that he was standing in a huge swell of muddy water. It veered off to the right as a small stream that continued down the mountain. The swell that he stood on had a few rocks, and some moss, but for the most part was empty.  
For a moment, this wasn't new to him. The fact that he was alone. He felt the back of his head where a small bump had emerged, and assumed he'd probably hit a rock on the way down... which probably would explain the throbbing headache that had began to form.  
/The way down.../  
He hadn't come alone. He thought hard. How did he get here? People didn't just end up in the middle of nowhere. They lived in houses and apartments... not out in the middle of the woods. That he knew. It was a given fact.  
Maybe he'd gone on a trip. Maybe he'd taken a walk, and gotten lost. That wouldn't explain why he was so wet... or why he had woken up lying in the middle of a stream. The pale boy looked down, exasperated, examining his soggy attire.  
But for the life of him, he couldn't remember how he'd gotten here.  
**********************************  
Off in the distance, a good hundred feet up the stairs of stones from where the pale boy had fallen, was another boy, much darker in skin color that was the oddest shade of green. The boy woke up on the shore of some place he didn't recognize. And he was covered in mud. Filthy, disgusting mud. He abruptly leapt up, feeling a burning sensation all over his entire body. There was so much pain...  
He felt like he was a living sore, and couldn't understand why. Then he felt another sharp pain where he stood (as if the burning feeling all over the rest of his body wasn't enough), and looked down to see that he stood in a puddle of water. He shrieked and jumped up out of the water, flinging himself on dry land and literally kissing the earth.  
"Peh... puh!" he spat out some of the mucky soil and sat up, examining his arm. He was hurt badly, but he wasn't sure by what. They looked bruised, almost, and bright red, as if they had been irritated. He couldn't see well in the dim light, but sighed and decided that it wasn't important anyway. He was alive, at least.  
Alive...?  
He looked around for a moment and took off his gloves, examining his arms to see how badly they were damaged. A tingling sensation flared across his hands and part of his arm as he did this. None of these parts of him looked good. They were covered in small, red bumps, like they had broken out in a rash from a severe allergic reaction so something. Deciding to take a risk, he touched the sores lightly with his hand and jerked back at the sudden pain that shot up his arm. He didn't realize how badly he'd been hurt.  
But hurt from what?  
He stood up again and ventured nearer to the water, looking up the stream that he had obviously come down from. For some reason the mere sight of the water sent such a shudder up his spine that he decided to stay away from it.  
He decided to keep his gloves off for now- they were wet and felt very uncomfortable- and pushed up the sleeves to his shirt. Sighing he looked around, searching the current situation. He was alone. In a place he didn't recognize. He was obviously in very much pain, and probably needed to see a doctor. Again, a shiver was sent up his spine at the thought of this... 'doctor'..., but he ignored it. That was not important, now. What was important was the task at hand, the current, impossible situation he was in, and the millions of questions that raced through his mind.  
How had he gotten here? Why was he here? Had he always been alone like this? Why couldn't he remember?  
And finally, the question that burned inside him most of all...  
Where was home?  
Shaking his head, he sighed and sat back on the dirt, looking up into a sky where the weakest stars were just disappearing, and the brightest were struggling to remain seen against the brighter star that began to rise and take over the sky as its' own.  
The green boy felt hopelessly lost. And not in just a literal sense, either. He was helpless. Angrily, he turned and punched the forest floor with a balled fist, then yelled 'ow!' as he realized that his hand was still sore from... whatever had caused his arm to break out like it did. He didn't like being helpless. That he knew. He didn't like knowing nothing, or being ignorant and oblivious to what was happening.  
He knew he had to do something. Restlessly he stood up again. Somehow, that river that rushed across the clearing was his only clue. But he didn't want to go near it. And going deeper into the woods might put him in a bigger predicament.  
"Okay, so maybe I don't have a hold on the situation," the green boy said aloud, for no apparent reason. The sound of his voice was odd, and scratchy, like his entire neck was swollen or something.  
Glaring around, he decided that he hated this place. He didn't want to be here. He had to leave! But where?  
While in deep contemplation, he heard a sound from far off. What was it? He stood up and stood at the edge of the river to see if he could hear more clearly the sound he'd heard a few seconds ago. He listened intently for the sound to come again....  
****************************************  
The pale boy was pacing, now. How did he get here? Where did he come from? What could he do? The questions that he couldn't help but ask had no connection except for one, certain connection.  
He knew the answer lied in the river. Somehow he'd gotten here because of it. He'd just have to get back. Maybe if he followed it back up, he might try to find... whatever it was he was looking for.  
Sighing, he turned again, not sure if he should. If he did follow the river, how would he know where he was once he reached the place he was searching for? His eyes creased in a confused expression, as what he'd just thought made little sense.  
He couldn't just stay where he was, that much was obvious. He squinted against the dim light, but decided to relish the fact that it was still cool, and once the sun *did* come up, it would become unbearably hot as it did in the mountains.  
At that moment, a sudden glint caught his eye. It was further up the river, caught in a clutter of rocks where the river momentarily held still before spilling out again over the edge.  
The pale boy cautiously approached the object, and then reached up and grabbed it, wondering what it was. The object was unbelievably cold, and the fact that the boy had to plunge his hand in the icy water just to get it didn't help, either. Once he felt he had a strong hold, he pulled it down and examined it closely.  
"Hey, there, little guy," he said aloud, picking it up. It looked like some sort of robo-dog... but a very odd robot/dog thing, whatever it was.  
It was covered in some tattered skin-looking fabric that was green in color, but was ripped off in certain areas. It's face, for instance, was like Two-Face from Batman. Half of it was a cuddly, cute, puppy face... the other was a not-so cuddly robot face with a dull eye.  
The boy held it up, trying to decipher what it was exactly. His eyes searched the body of the thing, which had a huge zipper in the mid center of its' body, in the same green, skin-like fabric that was on half of the face. One arm was black, and round, almost like a stuffed animal, the other arm was long and silver-metallic, with a sharp edged hand that now lay limp.  
It's legs were the same state as the arm. One was round, plush-looking, the other, long, and silver. Dib shook the object, seeing if anything would happen.  
It was in poor condition. A huge dent impaled the side of the object, and its' arm was twisted in an impossible way. It even held a sort of sad, lost expression, but the boy only thought that was in his imagination.  
"Robot or not," the boy said aloud, "You're my only clue." He looked up the hill, and even further up the mountain. He'd have to climb upstream, now, no matter what. Possibly there were more clues.  
His hands reached out, and he pulled himself upward, up the first set of rocks. He continued like this for awhile, then decided to take a rest for a moment. He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around the robot-dog thing, and then continued on his journey upwards, the object cradled in his free arm.  
He grunted as he pulled himself up the last set of rocks, and then groaned as he conquered this... only to find that the stream continued upwards for quite awhile. His arms and legs already ached from the previous exercise.  
"At least," the boy thought, "It's not a steep as what I just went through." He wouldn't have to climb anymore, and he was glad. He examined the robot dog for a second, and then aloud, "Hey, little buddy. Should we rest here or go on?" The robot-dog, eyes still dull, answered with a blank, sleepy-eyed stare, and the boy nodded. "You're right. It's best to travel as far as we can before it gets too warm."  
Off in the distance not too far away, the pale boy suddenly heard a loud yell, and then silence.  
"What was that?"  
Forgetting the aches and pains in his tightened muscles, he broke out into a trot, and then a run, at the idea that maybe he wasn't alone out here after all. He didn't see where he was going, however, and his foot struck a large stone in the middle of the ground. He stumbled and fell, smacking the ground. The robot dog fell out of his arms and bounced a way off, and his glasses flung off his face and clattered to the ground.   
A stream of curses let loose from his mouth, and the pale boy sat up and felt his face, which had shuddered as a sudden chill overcame it. It was sticky and moist- blood, as well as rough and bumpy- dirt. Dib reached out and, using his hand, searched for his glasses, then put them on. He stood up, brushing himself off, slightly ashamed at his own stupidity, and looked over to where the robot dog lay a few feet away from him. Stooping low, he scooped it in his arms, tightened his jacket around it, and then nodded, satisfied.  
The hairs on the back of his neck suddenly raised, and the pale boy had the dawning feeling of being watched. He spun around to meet face to face with another boy, no older than he, staring back with an odd, curious expression.  



	8. What's In A Name?

A/N: Yes, yes, I do realize that it's been awhile since I've done a chapter to this, but I've finally picked it up from the fact that skool starts tomorrow, and if I don't finish it soon, it will never get done. This is the last short chapter, because after this they'll probably be really long from me trying to stuff them all into the same one (I'm trying not to turn this into a 20 chapter story, k?  
Okay. Things are going to get VERY confusing VERY fast. I got tired of using the words 'the pale boy' and 'the green boy' to describe Dib and Zim, so I did a quirky little thing toward the end. Pay attention to detail, and pay attention to perspective. Don't worry, it's not going to go on like that forever :) Probably just until the next chapter.  
Also, please taken in mind, that Dib and Zim do remember things that come naturally to them, but they don't remember much about *themselves*. They can name inanimate objects as well as animate.. and... well, it will all be explained later. Just read on and don't kill me for taking so long.  
  
Chapter 8: What's in a Name?  
  
"AHHH!" the green boy wasn't expecting the pale boy to turn back so suddenly, and he fell back, stumbling into some shrubbery behind him.  
"Hey! Are you okay?" the other boy asked. Securing the robot dog and trench coat under his arm, he walked over to the shrubbery and poked his head in. "Hi."  
The green boy looked up at the newcomer, blushing slightly at his stupidity, and pulled a stick from out of his hair. "Um... hi."  
"Need a help up?" the pale boy offered his hand.  
"I suppose," the gesture was accepted, and upon standing the green boy dusted himself off, giving the pale boy an odd glance. "I know you!... Don't I?"  
"I dunno," he shrugged. "I sure don't."  
"Great," the green boy rolled his eyes. Tersely, he said, "I was /hoping/ you could help me, but apparently you cannot." He turned and began to walk off.   
"Hey- hey wait!" the pale boy rushed after him, awkwardly, for the robot still encased in his hand had suddenly felt heavy in his tired arms. "Look at where we are. There's no way we'll be able to find home if we just walk off our separate ways."  
The green boy seemed to cock and eyebrow. "And just how do you know if 'home' is even around here?"  
"I... I... uh..."  
"I didn't think so," he sneered. "But you seem to be correct. Going off our separate ways will solve nothing."  
"Good," the pale boy nodded, and shifted the weight of the robot in his arms. He pointed to the stream. "It looks like I was carried down here from the river. I was planning on following it up, so that maybe I could find my way back."  
"So you're not as stupid as you look," the green boy mumbled amusedly, and began to walk upwards. He watched as the paler one slowly stumbled to catch up in back. "The boy is obviously an alien," he thought. "His skin is so... pale. And his eyes... why are they so strange looking? But he has his own SIR, so of course he should be of my kind... shouldn't he?" He took this moment to peer into the river below him (which still continued to send chills up his spine) and realized that he also had eyes like the boy's behind him. What...? He blinked and touched them lightly with his hands, realizing they had to be artificial eyewear. "So /I/ am the one in disguise," he thought to himself. His hands moved up to a lump of hair that sat a top his head, and his pressed it, already feeling his antennae ache from the pressure. He wanted to take it off, but this was no place for that now. If that... boy behind him was who he thought he was, he would have to tread carefully.   
The pale boy huffily tried to keep up, already annoyed by the green boy's haughtiness and lack of concern for his well being. Not that he was /required/ to be concerned over such a thing, but at *least* he could be a little more well mannered than he already was.  
"Can... you... hold... on?" the pale boy huffed after a while.  
"Hold on? We've just barely begun!" the green boy said, annoyed again and turned around. Noticing the boy's fatigue, he sighed. "I suppose that we could rest for a while."  
"Thank... you..." the pale boy said through his gasps, leaning onto his knees. The sun had now begun to rise higher, and it was getting warmer by the second. The air, no longer having that cool chill of wind every so often, was stuffy, and made breathing harder. The pale boy laid his jacket with the robot to the side, and leaned down to drink from the river. He stopped, noticing the curious look he got from the green boy. "Aren't you going to have any? You'll get dehydrated at this elevation."  
"No," the green boy shook his head. "That's quite all right."  
The pale boy scrutinized him in the newfound light, noticed his odd features- the green, olive-like skin. The lack of a nose. And the strange clothing that he had /never/ seen before. He cocked his head slightly as he observed him, and finally opened his mouth, "You're not normal looking... You have green skin!"  
"YOU'RE the one not normal looking!" the green boy accused back, angry that this boy had judged *him* of not being normal. "Your skin isn't even colored! What kind of a person has skin that's so... pale?"  
"If you haven't noticed, green boy," the pale one said with a slight sneer, "Most /normal/ people have skin that aren't odd colors like yours."  
The green boy looked around. "Oh, yes, of course. Let me look at the plethora of people around here and compare their skin to mine."  
The pale boy blushed slightly at his own foolishness, and realized the green one was right. How could he judge what was normal and what wasn't, when there wasn't anything normal around him to compare it with? For all he knew, this boy in front of him could have a skin condition. He turned his head and began to drink again, and an idea came to him. If that robot he found was broken, he could easily use it as a thermos! That way, he could carry water with him at all times in case they had to veer away from the river for some reason.  
He carefully pulled the robot out of his jacket, and was about to lower it into the water when-  
"WHAT do you think you are doing?" the green boy snapped, and pulled the robot away from him.  
"Hey!" the pale boy stood up. "That's mine!"  
"Really?"  
"Umm... well... sort of. I /found/ him."  
"You aren't even sure it's yours, and you're about to use him as a thermos," the green boy said frankly.  
"So? It's broken anyway," he said, gesturing toward the robot.  
"Stupid boy!" the green one sneered. "/I/ can fix this thing."  
"You can? How? You have no spare parts."  
The green boy started, but he had to vacillate for a moment. He /could/ prove this boy wrong, and fix this robot. After all, whether he owned it was questionable after all. But that would endanger him. If this boy was in some way a.... /threat/ to him... well, he couldn't go revealing everything to him. But still... the pale boy knew as much about who he was as he did, and even less about the situation they were in. He wouldn't know the difference.  
"I have a special backpack," the green boy said finally, and as if by indication, at that moment the spider-like metal legs unfolded themselves from his back and stretched out to show off their full potential. "These things have been designed to serve as an alternate repairing source in times of emergencies."  
"Wow..." the pale boy said, gazing in awe at the machinery before the green boy grew too embarrassed to have them out and had them fold back into the backpack again. "That is so cool! Where did you get those?"  
The green boy sighed, shaking his head. "How am I supposed to know?" he wanted to answer, but instead it came out as, "Were you a monkey in your past life or were you just /born/ stupid?"  
"Actually, monkeys are quite intelligent- Hey!" the pale boy glared at the green one as it dawned on him.  
The green boy simply shook his hand and then tossed the robot back to the other boy, who surprisingly caught it, though not without struggle. "I'll fix it tonight, when it's not so hot. We should keep traveling. It seems as though the weather conditions will not remain as 'pleasant' as they are now, for it must still be morning."  
"Okay," the pale boy said, grabbing his jacket and whipping it into the air to get the dirt off, then wrapping the robot unit in it. He looked up and found that once again, the green boy had gained distance on him, and broke out into a trot to catch up.  
***********************  
The green boy was right, because it *did* become increasingly warm as the day wore on. Eventually, the duo was forced to find shade under a tree until things became cooler. The shade wasn't all that cool itself, but it was certaintly a relief from being directly out in the sun.  
"I'm hungry," the pale boy groaned as he sat down, clutching his stomach and laying the robot and jacket to the side.  
As much as he hated to admit to his own weakness, the green boy silently agreed. He looked around, but he knew it would be useless because nothing looked familiar to him anyway. "I don't know of anything we can eat that's around here."  
The pale boy looked around. "We could try mushrooms but... I wouldn't. There's to great a chance it'd be poisonous. Hmm.... there's berries, but I haven't seen a berry bush our entire time up here."  
The green boy's eyes fell on a patch of growth just beneath a tree that looked lush enough. "What about that stuff?"  
"Moss?" the pale boy laughed, but sighed, because he seemed too exhausted to do so anymore. Already he was dirty and sweaty from having to walk so long so far, on an empty stomach, and even worse, with his injuries from his 'accident' (at least he supposed it was this). He blinked, his eyes already beginning to hurt, and feeling moist themselves from watering up because of the intensity of the sun. "I... guess... but I mean... it's moss."  
"So? It is a supplement that will suffice us for now," the green boy said, and leaned forward, scraping a handful off the tree. Knowing that it would only prevent him from eating further if he decided to 'try' it before eating it, he stuffed the entire thing in his mouth and chewed.  
"So...?" the pale boy asked. "Is it any good?"  
The green boy attempted not to show a face of disgust that suddenly overcame him, and then grimly nodded his head, gulping the stuff down and wishing desperately for something sweeter to get that other taste out of his mouth. "Yeah. Delicious."  
The pale boy cocked his eyebrow, and slowly leaned down and grabbed a handful himself, following the same procedure the green boy had taken, and most likely for the same reason. His face lit up. "Wow! This stuff /is/ good!" he said, and leaned forward to grab some more.  
The green boy shuddered at this sight, and turned away, looking up toward the mountain. He hoped it would get dark soon, but knew that if it did so, it would only hinder their journey upward. The heat that had encased him was too much to bear, however, so he didn't care that they would have to stop traveling. Where /were/ they going anyway? he wondered to himself.  
"So um... um..." the pale boy began, then held up his hand as he gulped down the last of the moss as if he gestured the other to wai. "Um, what /is/ your name?"  
"I don't know who I am. Do you REALLY expect me to know my name?" the green boy said, slightly agitated that this boy kept asking him stupid questions.  
The pale boy shrugged. "You never know."  
The green boy slid back to the ground, exasperated. "Well *this* certainly doesn't improve our situation."  
The pale boy thought for a moment. "Gaz...? No... Gir! Yes! That's it! Your name was Gir!"  
The green boy stared at him for a second with a cock-eyed expression. "How would you know that?"  
"I... I just have this feeling that I remember you. And those two names were the first to pop into my head, so you *must* be one of them."  
"Gir? It certainly sounds familiar..." he paused for a second and decided to try it out. "Gir. My name is Gir."  
"Yes! That works out. Now... do you happen to know my name?"  
'Gir' thought for a second. "You said a name earlier that reminded me of something..."  
"Gaz?"  
"Yes. That rings a bell."  
"But Gaz is a girl's name..."  
"Maybe not."  
He opened his mouth to say something then decided to shut it. He shrugged and looked deep in thought. "No... it can't be Gaz. It doesn't sound right."  
'Gir' thought for another second. "There's a name I'm thinking of, but it doesn't suit you. I don't know why... it just doesn't feel right to call you it."  
"Try it out and we'll see," the pale boy said, eager, hoping that possibly this would be his name.  
"Well... the name is Keef."  
"Keef? That sounds familiar to me."  
"So your name is Keef?"  
"I... don't know."  
"Well then I'll call you Keef, for now," 'Gir' said to the pale boy.  
"Okay, 'Gir'," 'Keef' said to the green boy.  
The two exchanged a solemn grin, and then 'Keef' sighed, leaning back on the tree. "I'm going to take a nap, okay?"  
"Sure," 'Gir' said, deciding that he, too, was exhausted, and it really didn't seem to be any danger in simply taking a nap here.   
"And Gir?" 'Keef' said as he laid his head back, softly patting the robot that he had sat next to him.  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm really glad that I didn't have to do this alone."  
'Gir' thought for a moment. It was an awkward thing to say, and even more awkward a thing to respond to. But his own doubt was overweighed by the feeling he got from what how he wished to respond right then, and even more, what he felt. They were alone here, so it wasn't like he was supposed to be highly embarrassed if he said something utterly foolish, right? A minor headache formed from all this deep thinking, so finally Gir sat back, responding, "Me too." But as he glanced over at 'Keef', he realized that the pale one was already asleep. 


	9. Lesson From A Robot, Answers In The Dirt

A/N: Thanks, Verdandi, for pointing out how annoying it was putting the names in ' '. It was actually beginning to annoy me, too. You guys won't see it done that way from now on, but just to tell you guys so you don't have to go back to Chapter 8 (I had to do this too because even I forgot who was who... heh), Keef = Dib and Gir = Zim.   
  
Chapter 9: Lesson From A Robot, Answers In The Dirt   
  
It was nighttime, and the two boys were relaxing, proud of themselves for figuring out how to light a fire. In front of them, their success crackled, and every so often burst into an obnoxious pop! startling both Keef and Gir, who both then laughed nervously, frantically pretending as though they weren't afraid. The fire would often blaze up into a larger entity, then die down again to a solemn glow that seemed both calm and entrancing. A soft, stringy smoke poured out into the air, becoming lost in the ever blackening sky. There was no moon tonight, but the stars were wildling glittering in the sky, like droplets of water reflecting off bits of sun.   
  
Keef's eyes glanced over to Gir, who was busy tinkering away at the robot with those odd robot legs arching out of his backpack. He sighed, kicking the ground softly, the dirt carrying into the air and falling back down, some being engulfed by the fire and causing it to shy away momentarily, then violently snap back.   
  
"Watch it," Gir sneered, not lifting his eyes off the robot. It sat upwards in his lap, the dim-witted eyes catching the reflection of the fire, the life of it drained and gone. It looked like a poor, hapless figure from where Keef stood, and he wondering what sort of technological capabilities, if any, such a thing could take on.   
  
"Sorry," Keef mumbled, and crossed his arms, shuddering at the sudden chill from the mountain breeze. He was grateful for the fact that it wasn't winter, but by the way the leaves curled upwards in some of the trees, he was aware of it's imminent and eventual arrival. His stomach growled again, but there was no food- anywhere. He almost wished that he hadn't eaten all of the moss that they had collected earlier, but at least in the morning they could go searching for something edible. He just had to survive until then. So he sat back, bored with the eerie silence, and desperately wanting some conversation to pass the time. "So..." he began. "Do you have that thing fixed, yet?"   
  
"Quiet! I would have, if a certain /someone/ would stop bothering me with trivial discussions," Gir said tersely, scrutinizing the tiny parts of the metal object before looking up at Keef, blinking, suddenly.   
  
"Just... trying to make conversation," Keef mumbled, lowering his head and not noticing the strange gaze. He gazed back at the fire, a distorted perspective from his point of view because of his cracked glasses, and felt the hair-raising sensation at the back of his neck from being watched. His eyes immediately shot back up to Gir, who was still glaring thoughtfully at him. "What?!"   
  
"Your glasses," he snarled simply. "Give them to me!"   
  
Keef shot up and held the edges of his glasses protectively, shaking his head. "No... I'm blind without them."   
  
"Just GIVE them to me. I only need them for a moment!" Gir hissed.   
  
Keef glanced at him, wary now of Gir's cruel and demanding personality, yet still shook his head until Gir shot him a look of such distaste and boiling rage that, for his own safety, he finally complied. He slipped his glasses off with a shaking hand and walked slowly over, holding them out toward the blurred and brownish figure of Gir.   
  
"Uh... Keef? I'm... over here," a voice said to his left, and Keef blinked his eyes, squinting at the figure in front of him, realizing that it was a tree. Blushing at his stupidity, he followed the sound of Gir's voice, and tried again, holding the glasses out a little more calmly this time.   
  
Gir took them from him, grinning and trying to hold back a laugh. "You really are blind!"   
  
"Be quiet," Keef grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets, yet standing his ground, knowing that if he dared to venture from his spot he might end up hitting a tree. He stood, stared blankly at the fuzzy view before him, and sighed as a long silence, filled only by the tinkering of metal against metal, ensued.   
  
"See?" Gir said after a moment, handing the glasses back to Keef and waiting patiently as Keef reached out, searching blindly through the air for a few moments before finally getting a good hold on the glasses. "I just needed them for a moment."   
  
Keef put them on and blinked, glad to have them back. "So... how soon will it be done?"   
  
"Soon," Gir said simply. "Now stop talking. I'm trying to work here."   
  
"Touchy, touchy," Keef mumbled, and then kneeled down and drew pictures in the dirt. Another silence followed; this time, if Keef listened intently, he could hear the faint running of water from the stream. He let this relaxing sound soothe him as he drew: first was a huge circle with an 'A' in the middle of it, and then a few incoherent lines that he pretended was his own alien alphabet. Lastly, he became was deeply engrossed in a picture of one of the hackneyed aliens he'd remembered from stores from long ago- big, round heads, huge black eyes, two small dots for a nose and a long, thin body- when suddenly he heard a shout of triumph from behind him.   
  
"I... am done!" Gir said, leaping up and holding the dim-eyed robot in the air. He pressed a button in the back and shut the latch, holding the creation in his hands as the robot slowly slumped over, still as dull and expressionless as before. A few seconds followed as the two bores stared at the hapless, immobile robot.   
  
Keef's eyebrow rose. "Um... is it supposed to do that?"   
  
"No!" Gir growled, and then brought it down, his glory at success now crushed. "What's wrong with it? I fixed everything!" He shook it violently a few times, letting the internal components roll around a bit.   
  
"Oh yeah. *That's* going to help," Keef smiled.   
  
"Shut up," Gir sneered, and then opened the latch again. "I can't believe this isn't working. Everything's perfect!"   
  
"Give it to me," Keef said, taking the robot from him.   
  
"No way!" Gir protested, reaching back toward it. "You don't know how to handle that thing."   
  
"Sure I do," Keef said, opening up the back hatch and pushing around a few wires.   
  
"You tried to turn it into a thermos," he bluntly pointed out.   
  
"That was different. I didn't know what it was, then."   
  
"As compared to now?" Gir asked, uselessly, because in truth, he was too frustrated at his own failure to complain any further. He sat back staring at the fire, as this time /Keef/ worked away, and then, after a few seconds, asked impatiently, "Are you finished making a fool of yourself, yet?"   
  
"Just about," Keef mumbled, apparently not really listening. He shut the latch and turned to robot over a few times, then tapped the top and opened up the cap to the head. "Here's the problem..." he took out a few objects, brushed then off, and turned the head upside down, letting a small amount of dirty brown water stream out. He took his shirt, dried the inside, and then put the various objects back in.   
  
Gir could only stare as the head cap was set in place, and instantly, the robot's eyes flashed a deep, alarm-clock red. "S.I.R. unit intact! Beginning backup drive!" a deep-throated voice emitted from inside of it, and a mechanical whirring sound followed. Keef, looking haughtily proud of himself, set the little robot down.   
  
"How did you..." Gir began, but he didn't have a chance to finish as the robot completed the reloading process, and its once red eyes flashed a bright, water-like cyan.   
  
"MASTER!" it shouted, leaping at Gir and embracing his neck.   
  
"Gah! Get if off! It's trying to kill me!" Gir yelled, flailing his arms around and falling on the ground.   
  
"Um... I don't think so," Keef said, kneeling down and patting the robot on it's head as the metal creature sat up. "Hi!"   
  
"Hi!" the unit chirped. "You're back! And so is master! Have any cupcakes?"   
  
"I wish," Keef smiled, shaking his head.   
  
"Awww..." the robot sniffled.   
  
"It's nice to see that you've established a friendship with the robot," Gir said through clenched teeth, still on the ground and looking up at the unit that was sitting on top of him, "But can you get this thing OFF?"   
  
"Sure thing, Gir," Keef said, leaning down to pick Gir up.   
  
"What?" the unit asked.   
  
He was ignored as Gir stood up, brushing himself off. "Still seems dysfunctional to me," Gir hissed, tapping the object on the head and angry that he was outwitted by Keef.   
  
Keef noted his superiority complex, and shrugged. "I only fixed one thing. It was you who put the internal components back together."   
  
Gir, still unsatisfied, poked it again. "What's your name, robot?" he asked.   
  
The S.I.R. unit giggled. "You're funny, master!" And then he turned to Keef. "Why is the Dib-human here? I like youuuuuu, but master doesn't," he said, and then began to bounce around on his head.   
  
"What?" Keef asked, confused. He turned to Gir. "Why does he keep calling you 'master'?"   
  
Gir shrugged. "It must be mine."   
  
The robot then bounded off, doing cartwheels in the ground and landing dangerously close to the fire. It sat there for a moment, and then for another moment, and then, just for the heck of it, a moment more.   
  
"Um... robot... thing. You might want to... move," Keef began, before the robot leapt in the air, screaming.   
  
"I burn! I BURN!" the S.I.R. unit screamed, in a half-panicked, half-enthusiastic tone, and hopped around, arms flailing, finally coming to a rest in the dirt. It laid there for a moment before giggling and squealing, "I'm like burnt cupcakes!"   
  
"...he must still be defective," Gir said, staring.   
  
Keef stared as well, nodding slowly.   
  
"Well," Gir blinked, shaking his head. "That's enough. Robot!"   
  
The unit lay there in the ground, looking up, as if intrigued, in the sky, and humming a tune under it's breath. Gir sighed and tried again. "Robot! I am your master! Come here!"   
  
"Master!" the robot leapt up and jumped on Gir's head. "Where's the Scary Monkey?"   
  
Gir sneered tersely, not enjoying the robot's defective qualities, and glared up at it. Keef laughed at the sight, thinking in his mind that it was like a Kodak moment: a strange metal robot sitting comfortably atop Gir's head as an unsmiling Gir glared up at it. Gir shook his head a few times in vain attempts to get it off "I don't know what you're talking about, robot, but I need some important information."   
  
"Let me help, Gir," Keef offered.   
  
"What?" the robot asked.   
  
Again ignoring the unit, Keef grabbed it by the waist and begun to tug. "Let go, little robot, or else Gir might kill you."   
  
"I might kill me?" the unit blinked, scratching his head. "Awww... but I LIVE for cupcakes! I can't kill me yet!"   
  
Keef stopped pulling, an expression crossing his face as though he'd just had an epiphany. "Hey... I think we have this robot all wrong."   
  
"Why'd you stop pulling?" Gir asked, swinging his head around with the robot still on it. "Of course we have it all wrong! It's too stupid to be mine- it must be yours."   
  
The robot, in it's own world, leapt off Gir's head and began to dance.   
  
Keef leaned over to Gir. "Call the robot again."   
  
"What use would that be? Do you just want to see it attack me again?" Gir growled.   
  
"Well, yeah, that'd be funny," Keef said thoughtfully, but then shook his head. "No, this time call it 'Gir'."   
  
"Why would..." Gir trailed off, and then he understood. He turned to the robot and yelled, "Gir! Come here!"   
  
The robot perked up and leapt over, its eyes flashing red, saluting with its tiny robot arm. "Yes, my master!"   
  
"All this time we've had it all wrong..." Gir mumbled, amazed. "Gir, can you tell me who I am? And who he is?" he pointed toward Keef.   
  
"You're master! And you're Dib-human!" Gir the robot, said cheerfully, its eyes returning to cyan as it slumped over. It sat in the dirt and drew a lumpy object in the ground, pointing. "And you're cupcake!"   
  
"Dibuman?" Keef asked, crossing his arms. "That hardly sounds right."   
  
"Not Dibuman. Dib-human!"   
  
"Dib-human..." Gir said pensively. "Dib-human... Dib-human.... why does that sound SO familiar?"   
  
The robot shrugged as it continued to create art. It drew a stick figure. "And you're a Happy Noodle!" Then it drew a dot. "And you're Mr. Dot!"   
  
Gir tried to block out the robot's absurd outbursts. "Dib-human... Dib-human... Dib. Human. Dib!"   
  
"Dib?" there came a blank stare. "That sounds..."   
  
"Too familiar for comfort?" Gir asked.   
  
"Yeah..." Keef smiled, elated that he had gotten his name back. "Dib. I like that."   
  
"At least you have your name back," Gir growled at Dib.   
  
"I'm sure there'll be some way we can get your name," Dib said, trying to hide that goofy smile that said all too clearly how happy he was to truly be satisfied, and sure, of a part of his past.   
  
The unit, in his own little world, was now digging a hole in the ground, kicking up dirt as he did it. The dirt spurted out like water in a geyser, and then settled into the flames, followed by snapping- the fire's immediate distaste of the earth. Suddenly, an alarming darkness draped over them all. For a moment, no one said anything. And then,   
  
"GIR?! What did you do?" an angry yell soon ensued.   
  
Gir the robot, giggled, and Dib sighed, realizing that the fire had been put out. "It's probably for the best. We should rest."   
  
"Rest?! At a time like this? I MUST find out my name," Gir pouted.   
  
Dib couldn't see him in the darkness, but he knew that Gir had that trademarked stern look on his face, and a posture that demanded full attention. Dib could only shrug, even though he knew that Gir couldn't see him in the thick atmosphere of darkness. "There's nothing we can do. Let's sleep on it."   
  
"And how is sleeping going to get me my name?!"   
  
"I don't know," Dib said, impatient with having to be patient for Gir, but all the while trying to keep his voice down. "Listen, maybe the robot is malfunctioning. We'll let it sit for awhile and in the morning it can tell us what we need to know."   
  
There was a silence, and Dib wondered if Gir had even listened to him in the first place. He didn't have to worry about that, because slowly, Gir heaved a sigh, and out of basic instinct, nodded. "I suppose we have complete the task for tonight..." he sneered, as much as he hated to admit that the human was correct.   
  
"Finally," Dib said, rolling his eyes, genuinely more annoyed by Gir's complex than even the robot. He knelt down and felt along the ground for a smooth part on the ground. Pushing away a few stones, and nestled up against the ground. "Goodnight."   
  
There was a silence, and Dib smiled to himself, knowing that Gir wouldn't answer to such an inane comment. He drifted off to sleep, wondering if tomorrow would bring more than just a name. 


End file.
